Saturday, December 08, 2007

thesis is over!


wow, what a relief. i am finally done with my thesis, half a semester before i graduate! it's almost impossible to describe the elation i felt when my professors said "ok thanks guys let's move on to the next presentation." wow. really want to thank sae ra and robert from the bottom of my heart for being the best team ever! they're living proof that you can do a group project without ripping each other's hearts out, and without compromising on quality. although we faced many hurdles along the way, i must say that these guys are real troopers! and thanks to chris, ezra and brandon for being wonderful professors, believing in us being so enthusiastic about our project! makes me wanna do thesis all over again! (kidding)

i'm also so grateful that God answers prayers. right before our presentation, we received horrible news that one of the critics was having serious issues with the idea of collaborative work, which was an integral component of our thesis. my professors freaked out naturally, and pressured us to present separately so as to minimize the consequences. but God gave me the confidence to stand fast and assure sae ra that there's nothing to be afraid of -- that since we have knowingly entered into a collaboration, we should champion it instead of being halfhearted and hesitant about it. and thank God, none of the critics made it an issue during our presentation, and according to Ezra, only that ONE critic remained unsure about this collaboration thing -- everyone else was apparently really supportive of us!

HAPPY. ABSOLUTE HAPPYNESS.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

green tea

drinking green tea makes me think of so many things... gazing up at the beautiful terraces in china with my family; trying to force down the sushi at sakae (on numerous occasions); buying the box of pokka for char; the delicate teapots that daddy loves; and the old teahouse at neil rd (a lot of memories, that one).

i miss home!

Monday, November 26, 2007

lawrence why you leave your sweater at my place

ugh. now i have to bring extra stuff back.

haha but besides that, thanks for coming! it was great having someone visit, even though previously i was like, wahhh, i just want to slack at home over thanksgiving and not do anything....

but yeah it's really kinda nice to be able to talk to someone about my life, my rship, esp when we have had similar experiences and stuff.

and also glad to be able to offer some comfort to a friend who's gone through quite a bit of trials and tribulations, even though we haven't been very close before. it's nice to see how God brings people in and out of our lives, sometimes for a long while, sometimes for just a blink of an eye... but always with a purpose. hopefully this is the start of a nice friendship though!

Thursday, November 22, 2007

does it actually help

when i say those words, do they actually make any difference at all? cos they make all the difference to me when you say them.

even though neither of us can claim that we know how to comfort each other during bad times, somehow i feel better even when you fumble and tell me you just have no idea what to say. cos no matter what i'm going through, the mere thought of you being upset about not being able to comfort me just makes me so scared that i stop being upset immediately.

well, i know that such a thing is just ridiculous to you. maybe it somehow makes you feel better when you think that your bf is such an idiot that he can't even say simple things to comfort you, that you have no choice but to handle things yourself. but i dunno... all i know is that when your heart is broken, mine is too. whoever hurts you hurts me... and i'll gladly let you say hurtful words to me if it transfers some of the hurt away from you. just try not to do it too often ok? cos i'm not as strong as you may think i am.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

am i not cool?

i'm on facebook, but i don't do anything on it except add friends when i get friend requests. as a result, i hardly get poked, no one writes on my wall, and i don't even really know how to navigate facebook. i was talking about this facebook phenomenon with yc and lawrence, and i'm starting to wonder if i'm missing out on something... it's like, so many people are so into facebook that the fact that i'm not active in it makes me feel like i am a socially awkward, unconnected loner. but i'm not! i'm actually a nice guy with friends! (i think) but i don't know... now that these websites create another level of connection with people, could my current ambivalence towards it mean that i'm not actively maintaining my friendships with people? i wonder...

i guess i should talk to my friends more. but not on facebook lah.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

back in new york city!

just came to nyc for my 3/4 review, and boy do i miss this place! i wonder what i miss though... perhaps it's the creativity of the buskers all over the place, or the bright lights, or maybe just the frenzied energy of this city that makes such a stark contrast with my beloved un-happening ithaca!

can't wait to see yongchuan again too, it's been so long since i last saw him, and sometimes it just seems so sad cos i feel like everytime people relocate or begin new phases in life, friendships inevitably suffer. and it doesn't help that i'm not really a very good maintainer of friendships in the first place!

but even as i regret the diminishing of my existing friendships, it's also so exciting to be making new friends! like my new housemates, like the freshies, like the fcs people... and all this even though i always thought that i wouldn't be able to relate to anyone cos i'm a fifth year student (as if retained like that...like sec 5 student) and everyone is like SO YOUNG compared to me. well... not actually lah. i still feel pretty young, even though it seems like everyday i'm faced with increasingly "real life" situations which demand that i grow up and stop assuming that as long as i'm a student, i don't have to think of anything else besides being a student.

i wanna write more songs! more more more!

Saturday, November 17, 2007

i-love-yous

it's so nice to hear you say you love me, without having to say it first. i don't think i've surfaced from that sea of bliss yet... the joy of knowing that someone misses you and is happy when she thinks of you. in a very good way, i feel like i've really found a girlfriend, finally. and i don't ever want to get out of this state! i hope that every time you say you love me, my heart will be filled with this warm fuzzy tingling feeling, even when we're all old and wrinkled.

and i know that we've gotten this far not because of anything that we really accomplished by our own strength. i am thankful every day.

little white balls of fury

it's snowing!!!!

little white flakes of samurai stars zipping down the sky to impale us!

don't go out folks or you'll be hurt! stay indoors at all costs! if possible, sleep it all off! don't worry the nightmare will be over in about 6 months, nothing to get excited about really....

in the meantime, let's all cuddle in our jackets and blankets etc and watch Heroes!

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

King of Kings

So here's a new song, still pretty raw so i welcome feedback! in Christ i have found a new life, and His love is just so much, so much better than anything this world can offer!

Nothing compares
To the joy that You bring
Your spirit inside me
My heart starts to sing

Jesus Jesus You are my King of kings

No feast on earth can satisfy
The hunger in me
But the bread of life
Is all that i need

Jesus Jesus You are my King of kings

I count all things but loss
Before the One that i found
He is Jesus Christ my Lord most high
My way, my truth, my life

Though riches may tempt me
And beauty deceives
There's nothing more precious
Than Your blood i received

Jesus Jesus You are my King of kings

The devil attacks me
Condemning my sins
But i know that in You
I am whole i am clean

Jesus Jesus You are my King of kings

I count all things but loss
Before the One that i found
He is Jesus Christ my Lord most high
My way, my truth, my life

You are my banner of victory
Lord of glory i give You my praise
You are my saviour deliverer
Jesus Jesus You are my King of kings

Sunday, November 11, 2007

labels!

i finally took the trouble to go through all my blogs and label all of my songs! so happy, now i have a "my songs" label, so professional siah!

it's actually quite surprising to see that i have more songs/poems than i had previously imagined... can cut album liao! but i'll probably never get down to doing it. not that my songs are really album worthy, but one day i do hope to record them, especially the worship songs that Jesus has given me recently! such a blessing to be able to write for my saviour.

i also bought an electric tuner! now i don't have to keep on feeling useless when i tune my guitar, cos i'm just SO bad at listening for pitch differences. of course, got it for walmart, so i think it will probably spoil within a week. BUT i'm still happy for now.

new song coming up!

got the chorus (at least the first part), and a tentative melody, but if anyone sees this please help me add lyrics!

i count all things but loss
before the one that i found
he is jesus christ my lord most high
my way, my truth, my life

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Let Your Love Flow Through Me

The title of this new song has always been in my heart. As Christians, we love others not because of who they are, or who we are, but because of the love that Jesus has for all of us, the kind of love that saw Him die a horrible death on the cross for the salvation of each and every one of us. This song describes my hope that I can be an empty vessel for the love of Christ to flow through and pour out into this world.

I was born as a sinner
In a world full of pain
But in your grace i find forgiveness
You deliver me from shame

There is nothing I can offer
But you love me all the same
Now I'll rise up as your banner
So that all will know your name

Let your love
Flow from me
So the whole world can see
why you gave your life
on calvary
What it means to be free

Let your light
Shine through me
In every word that I breathe
Let me be renewed, let my life be proof
That my Saviour reigns in me

I'll fill my heart with worship
And I'll fill my songs with praise
I'll rise up as your banner
So that all will know your name

Friday, October 05, 2007

Back to the Summer

looks like ithaca is reversing its weather clock! instead of getting colder, we're getting warmer! My theory is that Bush has secretly installed fossil-fuel driven super engines below the US to propel us closer to the Middle East. So that very soon nobody can tell him to take the US out of Iraq -- we'd all be stuck there!

Other news -- I tried to write another song today but failed miserably. So just sitting tight and waiting for God's voice! Excited.

Other other news -- stupid DBS... first got iBanking secure device, now got some iB message thing that i need to get a one-time password from before I can start using iBanking. and I have to sign and mail them the application form all the way from Ithaca! why, why do you have to do this to me. now i can't touch all the money i have in my bank!!!!! (which might be good though, maybe the stocks are going to fall like crap this week, and by the time i get my iB message thing to work, i'll be right in the middle of the good deals! see i'm so good at comforting myself) But please let HL Asia go up lah.... don't drop anymore already!!!!

Monday, September 24, 2007

Lead Me, Jesus

It's amazing how the songs that God gives me only take minutes to write, while the songs I think of take hours, or days.

There is a shepherd
He enters the gate
He knows who I am

I hear His voice
And I rise to follow
As He calls out my name

And I cry
Lead me, Jesus
I'll have no one else but You
To lead me, Jesus
I know I'm safe with You

You are my shelter
You are my rest
You are all I need

You are the water
That quenches this thirst
And sets my spirit free

And I cry
Lead me, Jesus
I'll have no one else but You
To lead me, Jesus
I know I'm safe with You

I know I'm safe with You

Cos while I'm weak
You are strong
And though I'm sick
You are the cure
And when I'm empty
You make me whole
My Saviour and my Lord

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

human power

Potenco, a spin-off from Squid Labs, has come up with this dynamo-like contraption that generates electricity by the work of a human hand pulling the cord. It is described in greater detail in the following excerpt from We-Make-Money-Not-Art:

Potenco is a portable, robust and ergonomic power generator: just pull a cord for a minute and it generates electric power for up to several hours. It can be used to power mobile phones, PDAs, lighting products, digital cameras, etc.

Compared to a crank, Potenco generates 5 times more power, it can be pulled 5 times longer before the user senses fatigue; it's quieter, lighter and more robust.

One minute of pulling gives 1 hour of light, 25 minutes of talk time on the phone, 230 minutes of iPod shuffle use, 45 minutes on the Nintendo DS. Millions of units will be distributed in the next few years.

Potenco has been selected as the power provider for the $100 Laptop (One Laptop per Child).

Looks like there really is a potential for human beings to generate power, and one minute of pretty much effortless pulling on a cord to generate 230 minutes of iPod shuffle use? not bad!

Just thinking, what about harnessing energy from walking? Imagine if malls lined their floors with micro generators that spew energy as people trod on them? Then putting on weight and going for aimless window shopping would no longer be seen as deplorable vices, but instead, little contributions to the bigger good of saving the earth!

Is this enough for an architectural thesis? A responsive power generating floor that tracked areas of intense use, sending thousands of micro generators to feast on the wonderfully incessant pitter patter of human feet.... Imagine a rock concert powered solely by the commendable efforts of crazy teenagers jumping up and down....

Now now, no stealing of ideas ok....

Adelaide 07 -- Driving up Mount Buller

wow. what a trip. so many things to write about that it's almost impossible to start! so i'll just randomly insert interesting events as they come to mind, and hopefully they will somehow dissolve into a coherent lump of an entry(s).

Mt Buller was totally not on the agenda, at least until the maturing stages of our trip preparation, which is to say, around the 10 1/2 th hour. somehow, just driving to the end of Great Ocean Road (GOR) and then driving back did not seem like a very satisfying journey (kinda like a Star Cruises cruise-to-nowhere-and-then-come-back-to-singapore package) and so we threw a metaphorical dart somewhere east of the GOR, gasping in surprise as it missed Melbourne and landed on the dot that was the snow-capped Mt Buller. Actually, missing Melbourne was rather intentional, as it contained memories that were very complex and best left alone, somewhere in the untrodden alleys of Back-Of-The-Mind. So Mt Buller it had to be, with a deliberate detour around Melbourne city "entirely for traffic reasons".

After making the mistake of telling Budget car hire that we were going to drive out of Adelaide (which added a whopping 5 bucks a day to our already battered budget) we decided not to tell them that we would also be driving up the more-than-likely-to-be-snow-covered roads of Mt Buller, for that would most certainly have upgraded us to a very unBudget 4WD which would have rendered even Great Ocean Road out of the question. So off we drove, intrepid adventurers that we were, with the prospect of skidding off the edge of cliffs firmly etched into our nervous minds. We also, by the way, declined the car insurance package, which would more aptly be termed Daylight Robbery. This definitely added to the thrill of adventure that ever once in awhile sent shivers down our spines, especially when passing by huge "Transformers!" trucks on their raging rampages in the opposite direction.

So somehow we reached the foot of Mt Buller, and were promptly issued snow chains from the ski rental place which loudly advertised the fact that they were free, with ski equipment rental. They told us cheerfully, just before we left, that we only need to affix our snow chains if told to do so. So, armed with our defence against the elements, we sped up towards Mt Buller, eager to make it up there before nightfall.

We didn't. By the time we reached the ticket booth (yes we need tickets to access nature, it's that precious nowadays) dusk had already enveloped us in its chilly embrace, and we were slapped with the dreadful reality that "by the way, they are fixing snow chains just about 8km up the mountain". Indeed at just about 8km up the mountain, we found ourselves in the midst of a huge army of prospective skiers, trying, many of us for the first time, to zhng our front wheels with the menacing looking chains. They were menacing indeed, especially to my fingers, which threaten to either frostbite their way off my hands or to freeze me into a permanent bond with the chains. After much frenzied negotiation with the unwieldy heaps of metal, I managed to unite them with the protesting wheels and retreat hastily to the safety of the drivers seat, only to find out that I couldn't feel the steering wheel. There it was, clear as light-on-car-ceiling, clasped docilely in my hands, but my fingers would not acknowledge its existence. They reluctantly gave in however, when Char introduced my gloves into the equation.

Before we started the snow chain ordeal, I had asked a shivering driver crouching beside me if he was putting on or taking off his snow chains. "Taking off," he replied, adding that "it's pretty bad up there". That statement was confirmed not long after, when, in quick and cheerful succession, 1) the windshield fogged up on the inside 2) we lost sight of the road divider 3) we ventured blindly into oncoming traffic 4) the snow got worse, causing everyone to high beam us 5) we discovered barely in time that our side of the road drops off into nothingness 6) an enormous show-chain-less 4WD thundered past us, leaving us feeling enormously inadequate. Nevertheless, after what seemed like many months of gluing my face to the windscreen so I could see past the glass, we managed to arrive at the parking space and, without any antifreeze in our radiator and without pulling up our wipers so they won't get frozen onto the windscreen, we clambered onto the snow taxi (another 15 bucks) which trundled us, pale and shivering, towards our ski lodge.

Jungfrau Ski Lodge, where we finally collapsed, proved to be....AMAZING (but expensive). But that is another story, and will be told another time.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

instead of 2 wheels...


i got EIGHT! (above pic x2)

my mum gave me money to buy a pair of rollerblades for my birthday, and they are so cool! i dun really know why they are cool but the shop owner says they are so i believe her. after all, they're 500 bucks before the 50% discount so even if not cool also have to be cool.

so i went to east coast park to blade with winson, and i realized i can still blade! so fun! yy is also quite the trooper, didn't cry even though she fell down and scratched her knees (her knee guards just put on to look pretty only).

east coast park makes me feel singaporean. even though there are lots of expats around too, it's so nice to be in the midst of jc kids bbqing, malay families relaking in their tents and playing loud music, couples unable to find quiet enough spots to make out etc... hope my bb decides to move to the east next time so we can go more often!

anyway had a nice talk with winson too, not v often that we get to talk about stuff even though we were housemates in cornell. guess the fact that we take different courses makes it hard to really share anything in particular -- plus i am always lazy to play badminton. by the time we finished blading, i was all ready to plonk on my bed and sleep for a week... so tiring! i never thought blading can blade until so shack. but really good cardio workout man.

so anyway it's a good start, now all i need to do is learn how to cross my feet while blading backwards. i see people do until i damn jealous.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

my intern?

so today my boss asked me to go with him to interview 2 potential interns for this project that we are working on. so weird right, an intern interviewing another intern... but i guess it makes sense since we will be working on the same project. haha but they are so scared! I realized that the more timid and afraid you sound, the more it makes the interviewers want to squeeze you. Anyway I think we are going to end up picking the intern that is more adept at autocad and more available but probably less creative, and less fun (library chair sort of person). Which i guess is fine... but i want someone that i would want to have lunch with! wah i so elitist.

maybe we can go library together. nearby also!

Sunday, June 10, 2007

birthday boy

my birthday and nobody wants to go to church with me.

my birthday and you are unhappy with me.

my birthday and you don't even want to talk to me.



heart pain, makes me wanna sleep and dun wake up.

Friday, June 08, 2007

Virgin for life


I have never done any drugs, nor smoked a single cigarette. I intend to stay this way for the rest of my life. And I intend to live for a long time. To all of you who smoke and don't intend to quit, I say, "You are just dumb." To those who are trying to quit, you guys are heroes and I wish you all the best. To those who are thinking of picking it up, well, I have nothing to say.

Another of my uncles just kena walkover by cigarettes. It's so sad lor, that so many people still pick it up thinking that it's cool. I just came across a young malay couple with an infant, strolling at Bugis Junction, and they were both smoking. I was like wtf. And I believe so were the people around me. I was going to go up to them and say, "Are you kidding me..." But I didn't cos I have no balls but that's another story.

I have this thing for girls who smoke. And this thing usually involves me cringing when I walk past them. Especially pretty girls! SO NOT COOL.

Thursday, June 07, 2007

my birthday present!




so, whoever's racking their brains trying to think of a bday present for me (and had the presence of mind to check my blog), THIS IS WHAT I WANT! A bye see kerrrr!!!! Of course here's a disclaimer. if you do buy a bicycle for me, i won't be riding it. why? cos my mum dun let me. too dangerous. why? cos singapore dowan to have bicycle lane. why? cos bicycle lane means more people will ride bicycle means less people will drive cars means less people to pay ERP. so unless the very nice pedestrians in tampines behave themselves and dun purposely walk in front of the bicycles during the shared walkway beta testing, i will never be able to ride bicycle anymore.

i am sad.

why? because nobody wants to play settlers with me. why? because everybody is too old to play board games anymore. why? because you all succcckkkk!!!!!

Monday, June 04, 2007

forgive me

please forgive me
was what i wanted to say
but it very barely
made it out that way

and the moment it left me
to briefly graze your ears
you tore them out and crushed them
upon my stream of tears

Sunday, June 03, 2007

PPCC!


finally attended service at pasir panjang christ church again! it's so nice to meet all these familiar faces, esp all my friends like val and tainam, yash and meishi, tracy and daniel, vanessa, and faith! etc etc. also val's mom and auntie molly, who still looks as fiesty as ever! so weird though to be back in church without my baobei. this was probably the first time i came to church by myself, as kenneth instead of char's boyfriend. ok it's not as bad as that but it definitely felt a little like that to me today. wish you were here :( but somehow i'm also glad for this chance to interact with people by myself.

pastor chose to talk about a difficult topic today, and i do applaud him for that, even though it raised many doubts in my mind. 1 timothy 2:8-15 focused on conduct and gender roles, and it just seemed weird that pastor would choose this controversial passage to teach us about prayer and conduct. i am definitely not an authority on this, but i'm sure there are other passages that would serve the purpose just as well, while this passage could have been discussed on its own, with the preacher specifically addressing the controversy and the various opinions surrounding this.

so 1 tim 2:8-11 goes like this:

8 It is my wish, then, that in every place the men should pray, lifting up holy hands, without anger or argument.

9 Similarly, (too,) women should adorn themselves with proper conduct, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hairstyles and gold ornaments, or pearls, or expensive clothes,

10 but rather, as befits women who profess reverence for God, with good deeds.

11 A woman must receive instruction silently and under complete control.

12 I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man. 4 She must be quiet.

13 For Adam was formed first, then Eve.

14 Further, Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and transgressed.

15 But she will be saved through motherhood, provided women persevere in faith and love and holiness, with self-control.

So first of all, I've read that modern scholarship has come to a general consensus that 1 Tim was not written by Paul, but in fact probably by one of his followers. Of course, that should not matter too much, but placed in the backdrop of the anti-Gnostic sentiments at that the time, it makes sense that this was a reaction to the Gnostic teachings that gave women lots of authority, causing division in the early Christian church.

The phrase "I do not permit" in 1 Tim 2:12 is addressing a specific situation, otherwise the author would have written "A woman must not teach...". The original text language is also more accurately translated to "I am not presently allowing", which again makes sense when we look at the passage as one that addresses the specific problems at that time.

I also have a problem with verses 13 and 14, because first, I do not understand why the fact that Adam was formed first means that men should have authority. Furthermore, Paul himself said that men and women are equal in God's eyes, and one in Christ. Verse 14 is even more perplexing, for Adam also knew that he was not to eat the forbidden fruit, and yet he let Eve convince him to. He is far from blameless. What we can infer from this is that 13 and 14 are rationalizations in response to the problem of women at that time being out of control, and not something that should be used to establish any moral high ground for men or anything of that sort.

Of course, I agree that men and women should have different roles in church, but why couldn't Pastor have used 1 Cor 12:12 to illustrate that? We are all different and equally important parts in the body of Christ, and trying to fight for the same roles will only cause enmity and division in the church. Personally, I have no problem with churches reserving pulpit roles to men, because well, it has worked for centuries and it is in the Bible. But using Adam and Eve to to justify this just seems really awkward and narrow, and especially when Pastor said himself that he went through a lot of commentaries, it really strikes me as odd that he doesn't even bring up other arguments and at least rebuke them.

But oh well, that's just my view, and it is not very scholarly anyway so I don't think I should be judgmental at all. But anyhow, I did feel revived in church today, and I hope that these 3 months in singapore will be fruitful for my spiritual growth!

Friday, June 01, 2007

melodies unto Him


here's a shout out for jiapei (and her website) which has a collection of many wonderful worship songs that she wrote, and which hopefully will have the songs on mp3 real soon! they're all such beautiful, poetic songs and they really inspire me to walk closer to God and to let myself experience His love more!

keep writing ok!

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

scientist

after proofreading sera's paper on nutrition and education (wah char also doing nutrition... what a small world!), i have concluded that God has been extremely kind to me by leading me away from a life in the scientific field. i remember that during my GEP orientation camp, i wrote down my aspiration as "scientist". as shuyun says, "heng." heng my art teacher Mdm Cheah "discovered" me in sec 3 and pressured me into taking art. heng i decided to take literature even though i got b3 in sec 2. otherwise i really would have become a scientist.

i don't know how anyone can find scientific papers interesting. but then again, i guess the point of scientific papers isn't for them to be interesting, but to be well, scientific and anal and world changing and all that. precisely why i am so not suited for science. OH but my boss at keppel now is really teaching me how to be anal. which, i guess, should be good for me since i have to start work in a year's time!

but anyway, so glad that my life is reasonably filled with art, literature and music, and that both my left and right brains have been lovingly nurtured all these years.

and if i manage to cease my procrastination, i might even cut an album. oh and since we're on this subject, i love coldplay's "scientist"! especially the music video. so cool.


squashed

amazingly, 2 days after playing squash for the first time since december, i am not aching! except for the big toe on my right foot, which was kinda crushed from the numerous times I jabbed it against my new shoe. i suspect it might have something to do with the fact that i actually do stomp around the court like an elephant, even though i never liked to think so. or maybe i just try too hard. need professional training man! so whoever's going to play squash/badminton/tennis, jio me ok!

on another note, miss japan (now universe) is gorgeous.


Monday, May 28, 2007

online friendship


Read an article in the Straits Times today that appeared to be condemning the rise in online friendships. Is it really that bad? Pen pals have been in existence since i dunno, decades ago? What makes a disembodied friend any less of a friend than one whom you can see and/or touch? Fundamentally, friends provide comfort, support, encouragement and listening ears. Do these actually require a physical presence?

There is often a great concern that when a friendship is limited to online communication, there is no way of knowing whether the person on the other side is really who he/she claims to be. People often fudge their descriptions to make themselves appear more attractive, even going to the extent of using fake photographs and completely false identities. My question is, so what? If my girlfriend dumps me and I have no one else to turn to, does it matter that the online friend I pour my troubles to isn't really a 19 year old blonde theatre student in UCLA? What matters is that she/he is there to listen, to give advice and to comfort an aching heart. Yes, of course people get tricked into potentially dangerous relationships via online chat rooms, but with our increasingly discerning and media savvy users, and with the right angle of education, such situations are definitely avoidable. Abhorring the idea of online friendships is in my opinion, pretty backward looking.

This is not to say that online friendships are better than "real-life" friendships. Nor are they worse. They are just different, and should hence serve different purposes. One obviously should not totally depend on online friendships, otherwise one might become socially inept in a world that is still very physical in nature. However, just relying on "real-life" friends can be difficult for some, and downright traumatic for others. In a society that heaps so much importance on physical appearance, being ugly can be as big a handicap as being, well, handicapped.

I have friends whom I play sports with, I have friends who are my housemates, and classmates, and I also have friends whom I have never (physically) met before. All these people make my life a rich and multi-layered one, and keep me happy and contented in a world that can often be cruel and lonely.

So for the author of that article, I would want to urge her to try out online friendships, before she makes sweeping judgements like that. Of course, I think that having 1000 friends on facebook is just excessive, much like having an 80gig music library. Friends should be more than just statistics.

So on this note, I'd like to thank everyone out there who is my friend, whether material or immaterial. Thanks for helping me weave the beautiful web that is my life :)

Sunday, May 27, 2007

Invisible

This is a new song I wrote... the first verse has been in my head for like months.... and yesterday something just clicked and I wrote the whole song down :)

Take my hands
And lead me through this maze of thorns
Dry my tears
So I can see again
Pick me up
For my legs refuse to stand
Touch my heart
So I can feel again

And let your fingers play
Their rhythm on my face
I'm dancing to your strings
They are invisible
Invisible

Spin me round
So I feel alive again
Sing me songs
That never fade away
Hold me close
Let your fire fill my soul
Set me free
But never let me go

Your breath is on my skin
It sways me like the wind
I'm floating on your wings
They are invisible
Invisible

There's nothing like surrender
To a face I cannot see
I know by now it's pointless
To resist what's holding me
So calm this heart and help me
To believe that you are near
Invisible
Invisible

Friday, January 26, 2007

Things to come?

If we can increasingly do work and make money on the internet, what is going to happen to all those industries (like financial institutions, media industries) that have up till now been centered in cities but are actually less reliant on close physical proximity of individuals than industries like manufacture and agriculture etc? As huge office buildings start to become obsolete, and the home increasingly regains importance as a hub for work, leisure and social life, will this herald a new age where cities no longer retain their importance as attractors for economic and social activity?

I believe that the rise of the internet has the ability to impact the urban structure and architecture in many ways, most importantly in terms of dissolving the city into decentralized towns based on primary and secondary industries, moving away from our environmentally harmful sprawls of skyscrapers and dense infrastructure. The office skyscraper is, to me, fast becoming a harmful redundancy, because not only is it detrimental to nature due to its urban footprint, it forces people to commute from their homes, often in automobiles, which continue to use up valuable resources and produce tons of toxic outputs. The skyscraper itself is highly energy dependent, what with its great demands on HVAC and lighting systems. If one day the tools for digital video conferencing and online transactions become so commonplace that it removes the need for people to congregate physically at a location for tertiary work, then it would eliminate the need for a significant contributor to environmental degradation. And I believe that the day isn't that far away.

NEW YORK - The Internet is causing something of an earthquake in the US media industry, which last year reported a nearly twofold increase in job cuts as more people turn to the Web as their main source for news.

Challenger, Gray and Christmas, a New York-based global outplacement firm that tracks job cuts, said 17,809 media jobs were eliminated in 2006, an 88 per cent increase over 2005, when 9,453 job cuts were announced.

The downsizing is expected to continue, the company said, pointing to more than 2,000 job cuts announced by media companies in the first half of January.

'These (media) organisations will continue to make adjustments as their focus shifts from print to electronic,' said Mr John Challenger, chief executive of Challenger, Gray and Christmas.

'Until they can figure out a way to make as much money from their online services as they are losing from the print side, it is going to be an uphill battle,' he added.

Mr Challenger said news organisations today have no choice but to build a strong online presence or risk 'fading into oblivion', and they must compete with an exploding number of bloggers, industry sites and others vying for people's attention.

According to a recent study by the Washington-based Pew Research Centre, 50 million Americans turn to the Internet every day to seek out news. Only 17 per cent say they get their news from a national paper.

Another Pew survey found that the number of Americans who go online for housing information has doubled since 2000.

'Everything that you used to rely on newspapers for can be found on the Internet,' Mr Challenger said. 'The decline in newspaper and newsweekly subscriptions will continue as more and more people purchase computers and gain access to the Internet.' -- AFP

Saturday, January 20, 2007

what i did during my holidays

This holiday, i:

1. went to my first engagement party (where i wasn't the "family" in dear Mr Lau and family).
2. sat the luge at sentosa.
3. got a tennis racket for christmas!
4. thought about getting a hdb flat.
5. downloaded maplestory onto my comp for my sis.
6. went to bangkok (again) (and burnt many holes in my pockets).
7. celebrated 1st christmas with char!
8. quarrelled a bit
9. patched up.
10. did mildly naughty things.
11. drove my dad's mercedes finally!
12. drove my mum's peugeot finally!
13. drove char's mum's swift finally!
14. read death note the manga, watched the anime, and didn't watch the movie.
15. played tennis.
16. rediscovered my badminton serve after mysteriously losing it for no reason.
17. got a suit! (which partially explains the holes in my pockets after bangkok)
18. had lots of fun with my family!!! (i'm actually watching my little sis grow up!)
19. recorded a new song (though rather poorly).
20. didn't do any work.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

kids

why do we want to have kids? is it just an animal's instinct to reproduce and ensure the survival of our species? is it because everyone else (and especially all the celebrities nowadays) are having kids, and we don't want to be perceived as infertile/selfish/uncool/etc? is it because we yearn to care for and unconditionally love someone for the rest of our lives, and can't do it unless we create this person out of our own bodies? is it to prove to ourselves (and our friends and relatives) that we are capable of nurturing someone? or is it a last-ditch attempt at reliving our own lives, unmaking the mistakes we've made, letting "ourselves" enjoy what we've never got to enjoy in our own lives, showing our parents that we know better (and often realizing that they really did know better), and so on...?

i have a little sister 14 years younger than me. i watched her grow up, and sometimes when i look at her pic i almost start tearing because i love her so much.

i think for me, i want to have kids because really, there's no way i can keep inside me all the love i have received from God and from my parents all these years. i know i have to pass it on, and give my life to a little kid (or kids) just like how it's been for me.