to you, not knowing if you should read it :)

i've got sunshine strapped to my back
and my shadow's a mile long
i can't see your face in front of mine
but your lips tell me all i need to know

and more

until struggling for air i surface
in a silver lake
only to be pulled under
by those little eddies that swirl in your mind

i drown

in sweet laughter and soft tears
in ecstasy and sorrow
in gentle words
and pointed accusations

hoping

all the same
that when i awake
you will still be here
mine, as i am yours.

Today

somehow this song is resonating quite a bit in my life now. and it makes me think of my lil sis too, with whom i recorded a version for Jasmin's birthday. just listening to her voice makes me want to cry.

Today, while the blossoms still cling to the vine
Ill taste your strawberries, Ill drink your sweet wine
A million tomorrows shall all pass away
ere I forget all the joy that is mine, today

Ill be a dandy, and Ill be a rover
Youll know who I am by the songs that I sing
Ill feast at your table, Ill sleep in your clover
Who cares what the morrow shall bring

Today, while the blossoms still cling to the vine
Ill taste your strawberries, Ill drink your sweet wine
A million tomorrows shall all pass away
ere I forget all the joy that is mine, today

I cant be contented with yesterdays glory
I cant live on promises winter to spring
Today is my moment, now is my story
Ill laugh and Ill cry and Ill sing

Today, while the blossoms still cling to the vine
Ill taste your strawberries, Ill drink your sweet wine
A million tomorrows shall all pass away
ere I forget all the joy that is mine, today

Today, while the blossoms still cling to the vine
Ill taste your strawberries, Ill drink your sweet wine
A million tomorrows shall all pass away ere
I forget all the joy that is mine, today

if only we had the chance to freeze-frame a few days in our lives... just a few.

ok enough of emo-ness, time for some visual snacks!

aiyoh they pack until overflow. very good i like.

blooming!

wah i can't wait for tomorrow... confirm it will be awesome. my plants look so strong!

duffield!

once again, i have ventured into engineer territory instead of doing work where i should (as a true blue Cornell architect), which is, well, anywhere other than in an engineer building. but it's such a nice place though! reasonably quiet though not completely ulufied; well-lit and comfortably air conditioned (though we had to adjourn away from the huge glass windows for dinner cos the cold was starting to seep into our clothes...). sigh. why can't architecture buildings be like that?

emo looking tree we spotted through duffield's windows

totally unexpected.

ok so i knew they were growing, and when i decided to visit them again, i did expect them to be a little taller. but WOW! so much! i didn't know plants grew so fast! i actually stood there stunned for awhile before i realized that i haven't watered them for 2 days and they were probably crying out silently in despair.... so i went to water them. and now they are very happy! and oh notice the bulbous looking things at the tips of my paperwhites? FLOWERS! omg FLOWERS.... i can't wait man.... though i kinda wish my bb was coming earlier so i can give these to her! but nvm. i got other things to give. :D

oooh love the shadows.

ow.

pain...ful. yesterday was not a good day at the slopes contrary to my belief. i had the misfortune of falling way too early, and afterward i became so nervous that i ended up falling a lot more! and during one particularly bad, tumblingdownthemountain fall, my knee jabbed into the ice (yes ice patch sigh....) and everything went black. haha no lah. everything went white actually cos snow was spraying everywhere and i remember swearing and then feeling bad about it. and then i realized it was very pain! very pain! and i was also very cold cos i had snow in my face and in my jacket as well. but life goes on and God will keep me safe and thursday i will return to Greek Peak stronger and braver. and maybe with extra padding.

OH remember the credit card game that i played during my CNY dinner and how i got a free treat? so we had an fcs brunch today and i suggested it, and guess what? i got the last card AGAIN! free meal! haha but i felt very bad since i was the one who suggested it, so we played again and then i didn't win anymore. sigh. but i was quite pleasantly surprised lah, hur hur hur... should do this more often man.

daddy i can paint too!

see? see? i also can paint! and i dun even need paintbrush!

wah today very fun, we actually did kindergarten style arts and crafts at our horticulture class. absolutely ridiculous. but for a person who had 1.5h of sleep the morning before, it was a perfect class. and it's not like i anyhow do lor, i actually paid attention and put in effort in my flower painting! again, i love the prof and the TA they make this class so fantastic.

and it snowed today. meaning tomorrow life will be very good.

i want to be a movie star!

i just remembered this video we took in new zealand, near the pancake rocks or something like that. we went through the trail really fast, but our parents were still taking their romantic stroll so the three of us decided that the best way to spend our time was to make a video. that's me and yy impersonating seagulls, with jasmin behind the lens.

little did i know...

...that i was going to ACTUALLY take a gardening course in my last semester. i still remember that a few semesters ago i was like oh, i'm going to finish my courses really fast so that i can finally have some time to study whatever i want. and a friend asked me "so what do you wanna study"? and i was like i dunno! gardening? hur hur hur....

so yeah i wasn't actually being serious. i still remember how i was very excited when we were asked to grow beansprouts in P4, and i would look at the shoots everyday and water them and they grew and grew and g....and died. and then in sec 1 or 2 i did an experiment where i watered balsam plants with different juices, and they got covered in ants and...died. so yeah. who says i didn't have a traumatic childhood? did too ok!

anyway, fast forward. somehow i happen to be taking Horticulture 102, against my wildest thoughts, and it's turning out to be amazing! mummy i will help you weed the garden when i come home! but only if you let me graft our plants and make our garden beautiful. this is so cool man. and the teacher is so nice and omg they actually provide lunch! like, he cooked us this saffron rice thing last week and i took so many helpings i actually felt guilty. but then, not really guilty also.

ok enough rambling here's pics of my paperwhites starting to grow. makes me wanna cry...! haha kidding lah i'm not so emo.

see all the green green things coming out? such a cool feeling, watching LIFE happen.

looks so juicy i actually feel like biting into it...!

the bloody moon

The sun shall be turned into darkness, and the moon into blood, before the great and the terrible day of the LORD come.
-Joel 2:31

this is the last lunar eclipse until 2010. which means either the great and terrible day of the Lord is like tomorrow, or it's um... not yet. but then again, the Bible doesn't say how long before also, so well, who knows!

i did hear a girl scream very eerily just now when i stepped out into the freezing cold to take this picture. and i also saw my breath misting in the night air, which reminded me of sixth sense and made me a little scared but haha just a little.

pretty right? i really like the colour man.

into the sea

there's a beautiful place across the sea
i'm building a raft to carry me
though the water is wide, and dark, and deep
with your love i'll never sink

with your love
i'll never sink

just amazing.

i just watched this video called Randy Pausch's Last Lecture: Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams. Randy Pausch is a computer science professor from Carnegie Mellon University, who is dying of pancreatic cancer. he is only 47 years old. last year he gave his last lecture at CMU, which has since been watched by millions of viewers (including me now). it's really moving, and it actually made me tear watching it! especially the last few minutes. i'm probably a little late in watching this video, but better late than never! 76 minutes of my life that i am very glad i spent. there's just something about having a dying man tell us how to be happy that makes me really hope that i will never allow myself to be sad or depressed in my life. so please watch it if you haven't, and tell me what you think about it.

hmm quite interesting that i actually wrote a post about being happy just before i watched this video. talk about confirmation!

happiness

i wish i could be completely happy, without this nagging thought that my happiness is but a very temporary and completely undeserved thing. gosh this semester is such an anomaly in my life...

in other news, i have successfully done a black slope WITHOUT FALLING. granted it is the easiest black slope at Greek Peak and probably not counted as a black slope elsewhere, but still! now all i need to do is to not be overconfident and start injuring myself before our whiteface trip. but this is so awesome man. anyway someone just told me that snowboarding/skiing is a very antisocial activity, cos the only times you socialize are 1. on the lift; 2. a few minutes at the top of the slope; 3. a few minutes at the bottom. so essentially the actual snowboarding is done absolutely alone. well...hmm... but then why do people watch movies? movies are pretty antisocial as well right? (ok yeah i know sometimes they can be veeerrryy social but that's not the point) but anyway, i found out on saturday that what made me really happy wasn't the fact that i did a black slope, but the fact that i accompanied a friend to a green/blue slope for most of the day when everyone else went to the blacks. he totally enjoyed it, had a wonderful day and told me that now he's much more confident about his snowboarding. THAT really made me happy.

aww so sweet! adorable little m&m's for my housemate!

fcs hearts everyone

mountain of cookies omg how to deliver all these??

qoo dudes

marvin trying very hard to keep his tongue in his mouth

samseng!

awesome origami skills

i want to snowboard everyday pls pls pls

accident on the slopes!

wah i'm addicted to snowboarding man. i want to go everyday! just came home from boarding again, and unfortunately sheryl twisted her ankle on her skis so she will be out of action for a long time *sob*... it was quite interesting though, having the medic snowboard down to save us and then the snowmobile coming up the snow with its bright lights... me and ian had to keep watch to make sure people didn't ski into the snowmobile... wah the Trojan slope is quite a killer man... last time i also injured my tailbone there, really quite scary. But thank God i'm safe! hope that sheryl's injury is not that serious, so next time she can learn snowboarding with us. haha so much more fun than skiing lor!

OH NO 1 more day till fcs and i haven't practised my songs....

the net is down.

are you kidding me!? well that's what the internet guy said when i called up. "it's not our fault, the whole net is having problems now." omg. the whole net? that's not possible we're in USA not siberia where got such thing!? no pls pls pls i can't survive without internet or even with laggy laggy internet... how can i play scrabulous? how can i maintain my warbook kingdom (btw it's really a problem cos everyone is attacking me now)? but at least i can still msn which is really phew man. it's so scary... the last time i had an internet problem i seriously had withdrawal -- i was prancing around the house reading magazines repeatedly and eating everything cos i didn't know what else i could do! so now at least it's not so bad cos i have msn, but still... i'm getting muscle twitches now already.

come back dear internet connection please don't abandon us!

choices

to go to the blue slopes or to stay at the greens? to have dinner at haihong or 909? so many important life choices in one day! well, the sad thing about having to make choices is that you never get to find out what would happen otherwise. thankfully though, both were great! omg i can do blue slopes liao! of course i fell down several times but at least they weren't those completely-wipe-out-until-lose-body-parts kind. thank you frank for making all of us go to blue with you! i also tried jumps but failed miserably. nvm next time ok canuf.

wah haihong peking duck is so awesome. juicy and tender and omg the skin.... turns out that simian has also tried it too, which i found out when i was gushing about it to him. but wah.... i didn't know that ithaca actually has such gems... but of course not all their dishes are gems la the dim sum is way at the other end of the omg spectrum....

so anyway, being an infp/infj person, i didn't think i would do so well at a 30-person party and so i decided that haihong was a much safer bet for an enjoyable night. and it was woohoo! oh turns out that the owners of haihong were refused entry to singapore and malaysia back in 1978... dammit man we are horrible people they should charge us extra!

pics:

wah i cannot look at this...

me being an artist

no need photoshop to do motion blur! i also can!

free 团圆饭!

so yesterday we had our reunion dinner at imperial kitchen buffet, and i won myself a free dinner! this is what happened. we decided to play a game -- each of us would put 1 credit card into a bag, and then we'll remove the cards one by one, like a lucky draw. the one with the last card in the bag would not have to pay for his/her meal. and it was me! shiok. nice that i was with a bunch of pple who take betting and such activities very seriously, so there wasn't any real opportunity for me to say "no lah nvm i pay". yay!

and today wah.... snow snow snow... i finally think i've gotten back my snowboarding skilz! hope simian recovers though.... he's like the biggest casualty today! ratchat and i went up to the green slopes, and phew the snow was much better than last week. my poor board needs a tune up though, the bottom's all scratched! maybe i'll wax it before spring break, so i can feel cool and pro when i go to gore/whiteface. WHY are people pulling out of the ski trip left right and center! hmph. fun wat! not fun meh!!!???

ok eye pain need sleep. nite.

cannot play guitar liao!

die. downstairs complain that i play guitar too loud. how how how!? pls lor who ask VP to build houses with like 1 inch floors? like that how i practice for fcs? hmm maybe i can build a soundproof box for myself, or i can practice in katie's car. must remember to ask her for keys man....sigh...

aiyah these people downstairs also! if i disturb you then you don't come home lah! stay somewhere else mah right, why you want to purposely sleep in your room if you know you're going to get disturbed? hmph. this world is so unfair man...

软糖！

i love my grandma because she gives me 软糖！ well, kind of lah. i love my grandma cos to her i'm always the same little boy who is her 大孙子 and whom she really loves! and that's why she gives me the same 软糖 every time i go back to cornell, and everytime i eat it i remember what a wonderful grandma i have. 软糖 never fails to cheer me up on a gloomy day! which is like, everyday, considering i'm where i am.

in completely unrelated news... are you kidding me... very pathetic can. and if really good looking still nevermind....

i heart quiznos! and lotsa other things

so much meat so much meat... when you go to quiznos, it's as if all the cows in the world died suddenly and they didn't know what else to do with the dead cows so they just dumped everything into your sandwich. this time i couldn't finish the bread even though it was fantastic but nvm lah. it won't be my last time! and it's so cute, their little sandwich trays are shaped like Q's! with the tail of the Q as the handle. there's also this guy there who is really friendly and whom everyone loves but i didn't get to take his picture.


before quiznos though was church, which was great! promised joy that i would look for her and i did, which made her happy! these days i really look forward to going for church, even though when i wake up there's still the 5 minutes of OMG why can't church be after lunch.....

this time we had reverend joe askins (hopefully correct spelling) come to talk to us about our inheritance in Christ, and it was pretty good although i cannot remember everything he said. what stuck in my mind though was a very very small part about Christ calling us to get out of the boat and walk to Him -- that if we fixed our eyes on Him we will never sink!

i really believe that in every sermon, whether the pastor is eloquent or not, whether the message makes sense or not, there's always something that is for each of us. and as long as we hunger for the Word, we will always leave the service having learned something. really hope that some of my friends in PPCC will realize that, instead of always complaining about the preaching!

cherie and yankai beaming

big ralph! went to quiznos with us too... ahhh so cute so cute

THE pastor chip.

Saera is back! managed to have a nice little reunion with her and robert (my thesis team) and it just reminded me that we are all going to start work soon... sigh adults already, so fast! hope one day i can go korea and visit her man. AND SNOWBOARD! wah awesomeness. anyway so among the three of us, she's probably the only person who's really going to be an architect. i'm going to be working for a developer and robert's going to be a game designer... cool huh. spreading out to conquer the world!

2/3 of the Revolutionary Duffield Group

Level Up!

no more trembling at the top of alpha slope and wondering if i'm ever going to make it down! woohoo! today i went up to Karyatis, one of the green slopes and i actually did it a few times without falling! shiok man. still a little unsteady on my toe position but i can really feel my snowboarding lessons coming back to me. just give me 2 weeks and i'll be doing jumps! haha i wish.

joseph looking triumphant

guess my expression

i have eyes at the back of my head

heidi junchen(?) and joel. one big happy family

another big happy family + yaoming

PraiseAlive Feb 2008 instead of CNY Dinner 2008

oh what a night of incredible power and glory and joy. throughout the entire duration of praisealive, not once did i wonder what was happening at the cny dinner, or whether i missed anything. while we were worshipping, God opened my heart so that His love could flow through me into the heart of someone who was experiencing great loneliness. and it's so amazing, cos when i was sitting beside this old lady, i felt an immense sense of comfort and happiness, and i really wanted to tell her that... and when i did, i also discovered that her name is actually Joy! what struck me more was that those few words that i said to her, something that i couldn't imagine myself doing, really really touched her heart, and i knew then and there that i had become a vessel for God's greatness to shine through. what a wonderful evening. and i know God has healed me already.

horticulture 102

wah so cool... first time in my life i did a flower arrangement! look look look....

who is prettier?

ok lah not very professional... but aiyah got effort points lah! the class is seriously fun, even tho today it was kinda hampered by the ridiculous amt of slush i had to slush through to get to the horticulture lab. riding bike in hail is NOT a good idea. so anyway, i think i'll be taking this course now! hope i get to do more fun stuff that i wouldn't have been able to do if i hadn't finished my thesis 1 sem early!

ok more pics:



oh and they gave us edible flowers to eat! no one really wanted to eat, i think, but have to give face so we each took one and gulped it down... horrible. disgusting. many other negative words. why would people want to do such things to themselves?!!? but the lavender cookie was damn good lah, so it averages out i guess!




as you can see, it wasn't a wonderful experience.

played badminton today too, and got thrashed by Ronald, so sad. last time i can still ALMOST win...but today it was just....sad. oh well! time to exercise more and buck up!

OUCH

that is the word in all four of our minds tonight. wah... not easy to remember how to snowboard when you haven't done it for 2 whole years! plus the ice (yes ice not snow) was SO HARD! simian was probably the most injured, and was groaning in the car all the way home. tomorrow no need to sit down liao. as for me, i fell down (of all places) at the getting-off point of the ski-lift cos me and ratchat kinda crashed into each other and my chest kinda landed on my fist. so now there's a hole in my chest....ouchouchouch....

BUT. it was so fun! wish i could stay longer today, then i would have been able to really remember how to snowboard, but wah, the feeling of wind whooshing past your face and the white snow and the people flying past.... and then your board catching on something, launching you into the air.... and your body thrown mercilessly into the packed snow...priceless.

:D tired and happy!

Bootstrap Bills!

Simian looking cool and blurry