Friday, July 31, 2009

if you let me...

a few months ago, during one of those really gloomy days where nothing in life seemed worth being happy for, i sat my guitar down on my lap and strummed out a song that made everything alright.

however, there was something about this song that made me feel like there was more to it, like it wasn't happy to just stay like that.

a few months later, i realized why. i realized that this song really wasn't written for myself.

...and now it sounds so much better. :)

Thursday, July 30, 2009

we're not meant to dive

1. buoyancy control device
2. low pressure inflator
3. compressed air tank
4. primary regulator
5. alternate air source
6. submersible pressure gauge
7. wet suit
8. mask
9. lead weights and weight belt
10.fins
11.snorkel
12.gloves
13.dive planner
14.seasickness pills
15.lots of money

We're not meant to dive. But we do it anyway because that's what makes us human. :)


by the way, just received a random sms from marina bay sands:

"want to be a dealer @ marina bay sands? submit application @ suntec hall 603 aug 1-2 10am-7pm or email careers@marinabaysands.com"

no i don't want to be a dealer @ marina bay sands, i want to be the owner of marina bay sands!

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

no dance experience needed.


Best Wedding Entrance Dance - These bloopers are hilarious

all you need is to love your brother/sister enough to say yes to anything they ask you to do for their wedding day. this is absolutely stunning.

just thot it'd be fitting to post this in light of the spate of weddings these weeks... first carlin/tj, then lynn/charles... and very soon, val/tainam! jia you folks i'm sure you can do much better than this!

haha cool that s has this on her blog too... :D

Sunday, July 26, 2009

sunday morning.













on a sunday morning, some people:

1. wake up at 4am
2. sit and stare at nothing until 5am
3. drive to the beach
4. wear sweaters anticipating winter
5. talk to cats
6. listen to waves
7. find giant crustaceans in the sand
8. get white chocolate and chewy candy
9. blow sand from camera lens
10. try fail to decipher wave-eroded love messages
11. don't get to see the sun rise
12. play horrible music
13. turn into giant pendulums
14. find mcdonalds closed
15. find mcdonalds open
16. eat sausage mcgriffins with egg. meal. with mirange.
17. sleep.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

jade

so many people i know get jaded when they fall out of love, swearing that they will protect themselves more next time, and that they won't give so much of themselves to the next partner that comes along. i used to be horrified at that thought, and i'd always try to counsel whoever it is that it's pointless to hold back love because that's what God put us on this Earth to do. love is what we're made of.

and thankfully, i'm still horrified by that thought. even after my third (and hopefully last) breakup, i still want to give all that i can to the girl i love, just so i can see her smile. it's been 5 months now of singlehood, and i think the weariness from the previous relationship has finally (and completely) worn off. i feel alive again!

and i want to thank you, you, and you, and mraz, for making it possible. :)

i can do this! almost



what my professor showed us at the beginning of our animation studio. how i wish sometimes that my life took a different track, and that i'm doing this for a living right now!

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

wide awake, not daring to blink
for who knows when you'll stop
to think

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

mof

met S for a nice lunch @ MOF, where i discovered that she likes mango desserts too! that's what i call a friend. and we talked about things that should stay well away from this blog, at least for now...

Monday, July 20, 2009

la maison en petite cubes



such a beautiful, sweet and sad film. "the house of small cubes" by Kunio Kato won the best animated short at the 81st academy awards, for good reason. few films have touched me in such a profound way as this one, which left me teary and breathless long after the 12 short minutes of the film's duration had passed.

today i watched this film again, a few months since i first laid eyes on it. still just as wonderful. and perhaps because of how life is arranging itself around me these few months, it brought a smile to my face as well. i think "the house of small cubes" is essentially a story full of hope, albeit well hidden behind a veil of melancholy and vague despair.

i also realized one thing that never really occurred to me before -- that if one day i can be together with someone i truly love, i'd want to outlive her. because i want to be there to love her for the rest of her life :)

Sunday, July 19, 2009

we will never really know

for those of you who don't know, i have another blog! it's my second attempt at creating a multiple-author story, borne out of the extreme boredom experienced during my in-camp-training. much appreciation to H for setting up the blog and for gamely racking her brains through every twist and turn of the plots! 2 stories at present, with room for many more!

check it out everyone and feel free to give comments! and do let me know if you would like to be an author too :) we're hiring! hehe.

Friday, July 17, 2009

medics all are we!

i'm out of the jungle! after 3 intense weeks of cursing and swearing, i have finally become an operationally ready nsman, which means if singapore ever goes to war (which won't ever happen), you can count on me and my other operationally ready medics to stick morphine shots up your asses so everyone dies happy.

but seriously, these 3 weeks have been pretty awesome, despite the suffering i went through. i got to know some really cool people from just about every walk of life, which was a timely reminder that no matter where you are, you can find people who are ernest, sincere, funny, and really great friends. really surprised myself because in a matter of days, we've shared some of our deepest secrets and hopes and dreams, all while huddling together in our BCS (battalion casualty station) tent or lying on our stretchers (the perks of being a medic) out in the jungle. honestly, i had been dreading this in-camp training for months and months, but meeting these bunch of people made life so much more bearable!

and one of the things that happens to you while you're in reservist is that you become a lot more appreciative of everything else. i'm typing this on my bed right now, and i cannot begin to say how much i love this little piece of mattress and the 25-yr-old pieces of wood that hold it up.

and my family. i love my family so much! if singapore ever goes to war and i have no time to transport every family member to a safe place, you can be sure to find me in the jungle, saving the lives of my friends so that we can protect those we love so much :)

Sunday, July 05, 2009

saturday and sunday. 4/7-5/7.

we can be shrewd businessmen, high-flying executives, record-breaking atheletes, but inevitably, there's one thing that can defeat us all, and that's love (or the lack of it).

now that i'm finally on the mend, a friend has just been dealt a cruel blow that makes my recent (ok not so recent) heartbreak appear like a walk in the park in comparison. why is it so hard for us to love someone, and why is it so hard for us to be loved?

but you know, at the back of my mind, there's a little voice telling me that actually, it isn't hard at all :)

alright since i'm going back to clementi camp (h1n1 hotspot) in just over an hour for my reservist training, let me list down all the things that make (made) an amazing weekend:

1. having 7 hours of sleep before my IPPT.
2. getting a silver for my IPPT and improving on my 2.4km timing by half a minute, with absolutely no training whatsoever. no more ippt for the rest of the year since it's impossible for me to get a gold.
3. SMS, and handphone chargers.
4. my beautifully imperfect family, and my beautifully imperfect house.
5. KTV at home. AT HOME!
6. street directories.
7. iluma filmgarde ticketing office, for providing replacement tickets when the original ones were disapparated(!) by the deceivingly sweet tomboy selling ice cream downstairs.
8. ron and hermione.
9. amy adams and emily blunt, and sunshine cleaners. and tearducts.
10. other people remembering where i park my car.
11. level 3A, terminal 3, carpark 3A, lot 38.
12. see-through toilets and not-so-see-through toilets.
13. WOHA design (iluma and crowne plaza hotel changi airport), and hotel cleaners who don't care about snoopy people taking snoopy photos everywhere.
14. mcdonalds being rich enough not to care whether people using their tables and chairs actually buy any food.
15. coffee.
16. being wide awake (and not alone. and not in camp) at six in the morning.
17. loud chinese music.
18. breakfasts at home.
19. 4-hour afternoon naps.
20. hort park, and our contingency-plan videoshoot that went spectacularly well because we are just so good. why are we so good? it's almost unfair.
21. s, for knowing exactly what is going on in my life right now, for being the perfect person to be ecstatic towards, and for being blissful (hopefully) enough right now not to be annoyed at my happiness.
22. my heart, for having enough space to store the little things that need to be kept safe (in the absense of time capsules, which often get lost anyway).
23. water heaters (even if they only last 5 minutes).
24. a day having only 24 hours, because otherwise what's there to seize?


and things that were regrettable:

1. not seeing the sun rise.


i love this blog. it means the world to me and i hope it makes you smile when you read it :)

Friday, July 03, 2009

i heart NYC!



saw this on someone's blog. next time i'd think twice before i pee on a fire hydrant. they have feelings too!

Wednesday, July 01, 2009

i still check her blog almost everyday. it's almost like a reflex, and everytime i'd wonder why i still keep doing it.

but what i do know is that since about a month ago, i've been completely over it. no more hurt, no more bitterness, perhaps only a little nostalgia here and there. a little.

it feels like i'm finally stepping out into the sun and getting myself a good dose of fresh air. lots of it. and once in awhile i feel a little lightheaded but that's absolutely fine!

:)

MJRIP

maybe he knew.

maybe he knew that he needed to die for the world to forget that hideous stranger he'd become. for us to wake up from that bad dream and remember that he was once a genius, a man who filled our lives with song, who touched us and lifted us and made us get up and dance even as he danced himself into that inevitable path of self destruction.

if he could see us now, he'd realize, hopefully with some comfort, how much we had always wanted to love him and embrace him and party the night away with him and his song.

we loved you michael, that's why we hated you. and now that you're gone it's like you've finally come back to us.