cry also no use.

your aeroplane just fly away without you.

yep! cry also no use. cry already will your plane fly back and let you sit? cry already will your gf happy happy come and sayang you? cry already will you don't have to sit here for 3 days and suck thumb?

so don't cry lor. but still sit here suck thumb.

syriana

yesterday i watched syriana. might as well have stayed home and studied 4th order differential equations or like, maybe stare at blank wall also can.... catch no ball man! i felt like one of those ah bengs who come out of movies and go, Oh, that explosion was cooool! or... Oh, remember how so and so body slam so and so into that freaking wall? cos seriously, my understanding of that movie didn't go very much beyond that level. Some things that stuck to my mind were:

(spoiler alert)


1. fingernail pulling is disgusting.
2. george clooney died... kind of loserish the way he died too.
3. you pay a famous actor enough money and he'll get fat for you.
4. fingernail pulling is disgusting.

Anyway so the movie is about the size and consequences of political agendas, and how easily the US just goes "wth!" and kills everyone (or lets everyone kill themselves). but what is the point of making the movie so complicated that it only reaches out to the most critical and politically aware of audiences? they probably know more than the movie's going to tell them anyway right? just felt that there were so many powerful messages in the movie that just got diluted and confused by the convoluted plot. but then again, maybe the point is that the middle east situation is so complex that a car bomb here, an assassination there doesn't really make any difference...

oh well, whatever it is, it made lydia fall asleep. of course yours truly cannot waste the 8.75USD (oh shit have to paypal someone) and so stayed awake throughout the movie hoping to catch the ball.

but the ball roll away. in the end i don't even know what syriana means!

but it's ok. i'm coming home liao. then can watch the other psychological thrillers like king kong and chicken little.

they don't look very scared leh

Another poem!

I don't have the words to touch you
I don't have the songs to move you
Cos there's too much to say
And words don't behave when I want them to

And you're wondering why I'm staring
With that silly smile I'm wearing
But don't look away
Cos I'm falling in love with you

I think you're beautiful
But I won't go telling you
Cos I'm transparent in your gaze
There's nothing I can hide
While you're in this place

I think you're beautiful
But I won't go telling you
Cos you see it in my face
You feel it on my hands
While I'm holding you


.... there's probably more to this song, but it's just not coming to me! help help :P


anyway, on a different note... i'm reading a walk in the woods by bill bryson and it's quite the funny! it's about two (probably unfit) guys trying to negotiate the appalachian trail and having the time of their lives. which pretty much describes what me and mengaun are thinking of doing next semester. we're probably not going to do the appalachian mountains, but it's probably be one of those forest bashing adventure races that are for people very much fitter than the both of us combined. but what the heck right. after my cayuga lake stint, i'm feeling invincible! or rather, i'm confident that nice americans with warm comfy homes will pop out of nowhere when i desperately need them. who knows, i'm sure people live in swamps and dense forests right?

training regiment in singapore will include a little bit of kayaking, a little bit of finding our way around bukit timah (ok maybe more challenging than that) and lots of laksa and hokkien mee! so that when i'm tired and hungry, i can fill my delirious mind with hunger quenching images of me gulping down a bowl of piping hot laksa. yah i like to reverse-psychology myself.

kind of half-heartedly looking for adventuremates as well, so here's some pics from our very own walk in the woods in virginia to entice whoever!

meng aun inviting snide chuckles with hiking pole

virginia team. canuf's backpack substituting for canuf

untitled

i know you're sad
it's been awhile
since i've seen your smile

how i long for the times we've shared
when nothing was bitter
when we'd talk for hours
and fascinate each other
with our separate lives

but now our words have gone dry
our apologies laced with salt
with which i rub your wounds
while you tear at mine

and so we cripple ourselves
though we were once whole
and beautiful
our lives woven
into barbed wire fences
which we keep running ourselves into

and it's been awhile
since i've seen your smile

i figured i'd stop time
if only for a moment
for us to catch a breath
of each other
and maybe that will sustain us

and so i call you
and tell you i'm sorry
and that i wish i could make it up to you
and that maybe things will get better
once i'm home
and touch becomes once more
something we know

and i know you're trying
but your voice gets so cold
it chills me to the bone
and i'm left with clenched fists

wincing

and wondering why
you shield yourself
against me
but refuse to let me go

canuf

there are all these ways by which we escape our problems. i wish i had a good way cos i can't seem to do it. those issues that bug me never seem to stop, no matter how much i try to turn away from them.

our capacity to regret makes us much better people than we would otherwise be, but also makes life a lot more painful.