Monday, May 28, 2007

online friendship


Read an article in the Straits Times today that appeared to be condemning the rise in online friendships. Is it really that bad? Pen pals have been in existence since i dunno, decades ago? What makes a disembodied friend any less of a friend than one whom you can see and/or touch? Fundamentally, friends provide comfort, support, encouragement and listening ears. Do these actually require a physical presence?

There is often a great concern that when a friendship is limited to online communication, there is no way of knowing whether the person on the other side is really who he/she claims to be. People often fudge their descriptions to make themselves appear more attractive, even going to the extent of using fake photographs and completely false identities. My question is, so what? If my girlfriend dumps me and I have no one else to turn to, does it matter that the online friend I pour my troubles to isn't really a 19 year old blonde theatre student in UCLA? What matters is that she/he is there to listen, to give advice and to comfort an aching heart. Yes, of course people get tricked into potentially dangerous relationships via online chat rooms, but with our increasingly discerning and media savvy users, and with the right angle of education, such situations are definitely avoidable. Abhorring the idea of online friendships is in my opinion, pretty backward looking.

This is not to say that online friendships are better than "real-life" friendships. Nor are they worse. They are just different, and should hence serve different purposes. One obviously should not totally depend on online friendships, otherwise one might become socially inept in a world that is still very physical in nature. However, just relying on "real-life" friends can be difficult for some, and downright traumatic for others. In a society that heaps so much importance on physical appearance, being ugly can be as big a handicap as being, well, handicapped.

I have friends whom I play sports with, I have friends who are my housemates, and classmates, and I also have friends whom I have never (physically) met before. All these people make my life a rich and multi-layered one, and keep me happy and contented in a world that can often be cruel and lonely.

So for the author of that article, I would want to urge her to try out online friendships, before she makes sweeping judgements like that. Of course, I think that having 1000 friends on facebook is just excessive, much like having an 80gig music library. Friends should be more than just statistics.

So on this note, I'd like to thank everyone out there who is my friend, whether material or immaterial. Thanks for helping me weave the beautiful web that is my life :)

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