i have a packet of lays on my table that i can't eat because of my horrible ulcer. so i stare at the packet and chance upon this label:

GUARANTEED FRESH
Until printed date
or this snack's on us.

i wonder what unfresh lays potato chips taste like. fritolay should add another label with diagrams and analysis of unfresh potatoes to further inform their customers. maybe even a nicely packaged smell capsule with the essence of unfresh lays potato chips.

anyway the moral of this story is: don't bite your lips when you sleep. or you're gonna have to sit on your desk and helplessly watch your lays expire themselves.